A Burning Tragedy: An Exegetical Application of Amos 7: 1 - 9

(Click the image to enlarge)

Disclaimer: This spoof newspaper page was created to illustrate how an exegesis of Amos 7: 1 - 9 may be applied in the form of an article designed to highlight the consequences of unrepentance and blatant chasing of worldly desires in the face of obvious warnings and evidence. There is absolutely no malicious intent towards Israel both as a nation and as a race. I merely took the visions of Amos literally and exaggerated them to a fanciful, modern-day context.

A Fondue of Fun, Fellowship, and Finishing First

Fans crowed with delight and others hid their faces as Allen 'O Anthropos’ McClymont thundered towards the basket under the scorching sun, deftly dribbling the ball around the flailing limbs and futile attempts of his opponents as they tried to slow him down. Time seemed to slow as McCylmont leaped gracefully into the air, soared over faces slack with disbelief and slammed the ball home just as the final second on the clock ticked off into awed silence. The nasal shriek of the buzzer was drowned by the deafening roar of the crowd filling the sweltering air.

The above may not have been a very accurate account of actual events, but it certainly captures the sense of excitement that reverberated throughout the campus at Seminari Theoloji Malaysia on the 6th of July 2009. For the first time in Malaysian history, three seminaries came together in the spirit of competitive camaraderie to face each other under the banner of the Malaysian Inter-Seminary Games in several sporting events, including basketball, volleyball, futsal, table tennis, and even carrom.
Seminari Theoloji Malaysia (STM) displayed its dominance in the court by remaining undefeated in all bouts of basketball and volleyball, and fought hard against the Bible College of Malaysia (BCM) in the futsal finals, but BCM showed true determination and was declared the victor of the futsal division. Malaysia Bible Seminary (MBS), however, was not to be left out, and utterly annihilated all competition indoors, securing victories in table tennis (both singles and doubles), as well as carrom.
After a hard day of pushing the athletic prowess of seminarians to the limit and a time of refreshing corporate prayer for the needs of the nation, the overall trophy based on each seminary’s cumulative performance was finally awarded to MBS with much rejoicing from its students. A relieved BCM came in at a close second, with STM close on its heels. Winning evidently wasn’t everything, however, as relationships were formed and strengthened with the promise of more interaction to come between the seminaries in the near future.

*

McClymont slipped away into the darkness, away from the frenzied throng composed of many giddy with triumph and many more still reeling from their defeat. ‘Next year,’ he muttered under his breath. ‘Next year.’

________________________________________

Disclaimer: Anything in the article found in italics are a work of fiction.

Author’s Note: I would, however, like to acknowledge that Mr. Allen Brian McClymont of the STM faculty has graciously consented to my taking creative liberties with the use of his persona in the writing of this article.

It's all Greek to me

Αα	Νν
Ββ	Ξξ
Γγ	Οο
Δδ	Ππ
Εε	Ρρ
Ζζ	Σσς
Ηη	Ττ
Θθ	Υυ
Ιι	Φφ
Κκ	Χχ
Λλ	Ψψ
Μμ	Ωω

Is it Greek to you too?

Time

I guess this was gonna go up sooner or later. If you've noticed the dates of my blog entries, there's been a two-day (I think?) gap between my last entry and this one. Care to hazard a guess why?

No, my life isn't uninteresting enough to merit nothing to blog about. No, I haven't been playing games although that's possible. No, I haven't been chasing girls, aunty or otherwise. No, I haven't been doing nothing but cleaning my room.

If you haven't guessed what the reason is by now despite the title and your monitor burning a nice picture of a clock into your retinas, I recommend Sudoku.

Anyway. Past two days has been chock full with stuff. Loads of stuff. First thing of note was the fact that I was voted student representative for my year. Now, I hope you don't think that I'm blowing my own horn or anything (those who know me well enough also know the extent of which I blow my horn in the car - not very impressive). We initially wanted to vote the natural extrovert that everyone usually crowds around, but he declined due to family commitments. Excuses! Next tossup in the vote was the one who voted the first guy, which happened to me. Me and my big mouth. I initially wanted to decline as well, since I know that leadership isn't my strength, and I'm more effective as a community builder from the inside, but the existing Student EXCO President mentioned that leadership isn't his strong point too, and that clicked something in me. I could look at this in two ways: it could be a burden, or an opportunity. I figured that I could run from this now, but in the future I was likely to be chucked into a leadership position anyway, given my choice of profession. Might as well prepare myself now, eh? Besides, I don't think it's that big a deal at the moment.

I'm gonna read this entry again a couple of months in the future and laugh at my naivete, I'm sure.

We also had a class on Time Management. I dunno if I was expecting it, but wow, life on campus is gonna be pretty similar to the life I had before I came here. Namely, having a crazy full schedule where sleep is a necessity rather than a luxury. It's unlikely that I will be able to have my preferred 8 hours of sleep, and will be more accustomed to 6 to 6 and a half hours of sleep per day. Oh well. Studying, reading, and assignments will be taking up a huge chunk of our time. I'm also the kind that procrastinates. I really don't want to do that this time, especially with the huge amount of dire warnings put forth by our seniors.

Next day we had our annual retreat, where I finally met all the other students on campus... The 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years. My roommate finally turned up, and turned out to be a Chinese guy who speaks little English, so communication is scarce. We pretty much co-exist peacefully. His answer to all my questions are usually 'Also can.' Although I'd wish for more responses than that, but that'd suffice regarding stuff like keeping the windows closed after six to avoid mozzie buffets.

Got ambushed the night before by the student worship coordinator to play bass the following morning. Turned out all the training I had under Susan paid off. Was able to apply and share with the band members with suggestions, band dynamics, etc. Was again ambushed today in the afternoon to play for tomorrow morning. I guess things aren't that different here after all, hehe.

I think I'll wrap it up for tonight. If you've noticed, this entry isn't very entertaining. I don't feel particularly inspired or witty at the moment, but there's just two days' worth of stuff to share that I wanted to chuck down before I forgot. There's actually more, but this has to do for now.

'til next time.

- Shearn

The King of the Jungle

"What makes the lion the king of the jungle? And before you answer that, ask yourself another question: which jungle is he king of?"

*Crickets*

(No, he's not king of the cricket jungle, I'm just using some sound effects there, for those unfamiliar with the implication of sounds, actions, or various onomatopoeia sandwiched between asterisks)

Anyway. That was the question posed to us today from our Critical Reading & Writing lecturer. Following the deafening silence that trailed his question, I finally plucked up the courage to say something about his hair (the lion, not the lecturer). I was lost on the jungle bit, since I thought lions only lived on African cliffs overlooking all other animals neatly bowing to the lion cub being dangled precariously over the edge of a cliff by an ancient baboon... but I digress. My lecturer's point was that we have to think beyond face value. He was basically suggesting that whatever we read or hear or ingest in whatever form, we should do so with an open mind, while considering the author's contextual influences, be they cultural, denominational, lingual, sexual- wait, that's not right... genderial? *Shrug*

Let me pause a second here to voice some concerns on the academic side of my theological pursuits. I had my very first taste of the ailment known as studentdebatingtheologicalissueswithlecturer-
withotherstudentinterjectingwhiletherestofusgetrestless-isis.

I'm amazed to say that I didn't forsee this coming. When I finally realized it, though, I groaned, winced, and gritted my teeth inwardly (all at the same time!) at the thought of many many many more to come. Especially for the inevitable many that would spawn not from the pursuit of new perspectives or conviction challenges, nor the strength of their own convictions, but for the sake of being right and/or imposing their values upon others.

I understand that the practice of excessive tolerance greatly contributes to phenomena such as gay churches and the like, but honestly, considering the fact that we're all from different denominations with different experiences and different backgrounds, tolerance and loving acceptance is totally, completely, essentially, and necessarily required (redundancies for emphasis). Not only is it the right thing to do, but tarnation! I ain't never gonna be wastin' no time on needless debates none (quadruple negatives for fun) when there's more important stuff to be learnt. I suppose the crux of the matter lies in whether we have the faith and security in our own convictions to know that they hold true for ourselves without needing others to reaffirm us with their agreement. And if our convictions be challenged during this time, all the better! What better way to be convicted of a conviction than sticking to it despite the challenges, rather than plain and simple close-minded stubbornness.

Back to the lion.

The baboon dropped the cub and the lion ate the baboon.

The End.

A New Beginning

Wow. I'm blogging. I've swept and mopped my room twice. I've wiped all the shelves and drawers. I bathe like 3 times a day. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. I did my quiet time before anything else. I did 50 pushups after that. I've neatly organized my clothes and articles. I'm drinking 8 glasses of water per day. I just did a full gym workout. I made my bed in the morning.

What's going on, you ask? (Or maybe you didn't, but I'm gonna tell you anyway)

I'm in a monast- err... seminary.

Seminari Theoloji Malaysia (STM), to be exact. Although we don't speak Bahasa Melayu here, so I dunno what's with the official Malay spelling and all. Anyway.


Yesterday was action packed. I set off for Seremban after teary goodbyes after church service, with my shoulders damp with many a female tear (not really). I got to my room and unpacked and settled in. Then I look outside my window and lo and behold, there's a big blue Volvo parked below it with a shiny KL Wesley car sticker on the windshield, and a map to Seremban peering up from the driver's seat. Nice try, William.

After I went out to explore the place (my dad crashed on my bed to verify and deem it fit for the pursuit of somnaiac festivities), I discovered William and Jon. Surprise surprise! William has a couple of pics of the room and the compound, so go look if you're interested: http://pigies.multiply.com/photos/album/51

After they went off (both parents and frienthers - friends and brothers, geddit?), I went hunting for a broom and mop and pulled a Sus-... umm... I mean, I cleaned the place really well. My roomie is probably a senior, and he won't be in until orientation is over (next Monday), so we'll see who he is then, and if he has any qualms about me and the way I live or vice versa.

We then went out for dinner at a foodcourt - chicken rice @ RM 3.50.... took about 20 minutes to come though. Guess they catch 'em live here. Then we went to Giant to buy stuff we needed. Ended up buying stuff like mozzie spray, mozzie zapper (can you spot the common denominator?), extension, new HUGE alarm clock, laundry basket, etc. etc. The bill came up to about a hundred and twenty bucks. Heh.

Today we went through a couple more briefings... Mainly going through the student handbook and stuff. No guy and girl can be alone together in any one place. Drats. There goes my chances with that lonely looking aunty. Oh well. I'll console myself with the fact that I HAVE INTERNET ACCESS IN MY OWN ROOM OMGWTFBBQROFFLECOPTER!!!111oneone. It cuts off at 12 midnight and starts again at 6 in the morning though. That's apparently a new rule, 'cause of abuse (?) from seniors. Oh well, at least I'll have less reasons to stay up late, and maybe get the sleep I need.

During the briefing they had 3 geeks come up (yes, it takes one to know one). They were the.... *Drum roll* Cyber Team! *Trumpet fanfare* .... *Wipes tears* They're basically your knights in shining firewalls - they help you with any IT related problems you may have. Actually, it's quite a good idea, plus I really salute them for actually going through with it. I know what it's like to be reasonably IT savvy and have billions of people ask for your help - not that those people are a nuisance, but mainly 'cause it really takes a lot of extra time and oodles of patience to help 'em out. These guys are willing to actually announce that they can solve their IT problems. The older folks were gazing at them like they were Jesus on wheels. I don't mean that literally though. But those folks were sure getting dewey-eyed.

On a related note, they have this student community forum thing, and the English was... how do I put this delicately... the English was interesting. Anyway, I volunteered my services as English editor (I don't wanna sound snobby about it but they really need one for the sake of the international students) and they seem eager for more help. So maybe this is the first of more ministries.

Oh speaking of languages... I'm getting a real headache from all the translating between English and Mandarin and vice versa. The majority of the students are taking their studies in Chinese, so sometimes it feels like us bananas, brownies, and international students are left in the lurch when they get carried away elaborating when they're on the Chinese translation bit. And it was real difficult for us to know when to switch off and on. There's this really nice Cambodian guy whose English isn't impeccable either, and he ended up missing out stuff 'cause he didn't know when to start listening... They translated their own stuff seamlessly. It was like, "Neemen hen pentan, nee kei wo siau, so you should follow the Student Handbook carefully."

But apart from those minor hiccups, all the people here are very nice. I'm not the youngest! The youngest is an Indian dude named Samuel, age 22, who happens to be the one I'm closest to currently. The Chinese dept. students are probably gonna form their own clique, so I'm mainly left with the Indians, foreigners, East Malaysians, and English speaking Chinese uncles... But they're all very nice. I've realized I'm not as shy as I used to be, and everything's pretty groovy right now. I know the work load is probably gonna be crushing in the future, but I'm pretty optimistic about life here at the moment.

Praise the Lord for His grooviness.

And uhh... I gotta go wear some clothes and go down for steamboat dinner, hehe.

'til next time...

- Shearn